Three Ring 

 

   The lyrics for this are really personal and all about the many sides of oneself that we face and deal with. We all have qualities in ourselves that we love and some that we hate and all in all these qualities, traits, moods, etc are all part of our one self. So when the one self is broken down into it's individual characteristics we can easily dissect and see our strengths and weaknesses.When you walk into a house of mirrors the image is distorted and mis-aligned with the real image that being reflected and it's important to see the REAL self and let that reflect to see passed the skewed image we often have of ourselves. Every day thousands of images and sensations are projected around us so we have to polish the mirror of the heart to see clearly the reflection of the TRUE self and not the blurred image created by other's perceptions of us.

 

   The 3 ring circus aspect comes into play because of the up and down nature of real emotions, and how we react and handle different things that come our way all depends on which vantage point we are looking at it from (which ring are we performing in at the moment). So as we ride life's carousel of ups and downs, and the more we direct our attention to each aspect of ourselves, we can re-tune or re-mold our life (or circus) into a spectacular event! This is the basic concept which has many more layers to it (like onions....and ogres) so check out the lyrics and tell us what you hear, or find, buried in there and feel free to openly discuss the ideas and meanings of these songs with us!

 

(Lyrics)

Standing in this house of mirrors

Nothing seems as it appears

Reflections twisted deep and wide

Still can't see the truth buried deep inside

 

Riding on this carousel

Made up of my inner hell

Emotions booming up & down

On my not so merry go round

 

I'm the attraction

The divine distraction

The angry reaction

To all that I have to face

Clown painted face

I am the disgrace

All that I see

In this 3 ring 

 

Exploiting the strange

And taming the wild

Hiding the weakness

Through half-hearted smiles

The zombies walk home

And the big top goes dim

And loneliness shows

Through your half-jilted grin

 

Riding on this carousel

Made up of my inner hell

Emotions booming up & down

On my not so merry go round

 

Can someone tame the lion

Before he's bitten by the snake

And somehow end this circus

Before I just break

 

I'm the attraction

The divine distraction

The angry reaction

To all that I have to face

Clown painted face

I am the disgrace

All that I see

In this 3 ring me

 

 

Breaking The Broken

 

   This song was inspired by a visit back home to Ohio about 7 or 8 years ago. I went to one of my old favorite clubs we played at for years and ran into my old drummer's ex. She went on and on about how lucky I was to "break out" of that small town and be able to follow my dreams. After about 15 minutes I was like "what's holding you back from doing what you want in life"? She had no real answer but lots of excuses and this same scene played out as I bumped into more and more friends and acquaintances throughout my trip. I feel bad for most of the people that think they are "stuck" with no way out. In most cases they have options but are too blinded by the problems and limitations at hand to be able to see a way out and the more I encountered this attitude the more it reminded me of my roots. I too felt stuck and hated my little hometown when I lived there. I felt my spirit was crushed and that my dreams meant nothing to anyone but me, yet I didn't have the strength to make them a reality.

 

   So I started to write this as a song of remembrance, of my lowest points and what it took to get out of it. For me I was completely broken down to nothing. I went into huge debt for a building that was a money pit just to save our rehearsal space and ended up living on Kool Aid and butter sandwiches and letting my life go downhill fast. When I got to the point that I hated looking in the mirror I realized it was time to shatter the image I had of myself and become the reflection of the real man inside! I shattered all the broken bits to rise up from the ash and start a new life - So that's the basic concept. Kinda like that saying you gotta reach rock bottom to climb back up. There are some other hidden mystical references in there too so see if you can pick 'em out!

 

(Lyrics)

Up From the dust we rise

Slithering these same streets

To shed this self de-evolution

I need to break what's broken

 

Chorus: So I'm Breaking Down the Broken

Shatter the pain we cling to

Every vibration spoken

Just brings it all right back to you

 

Smearing this dirt on myself

Footprints all across my face

Eyes blurred from scraping away the truth

I need to break what's broken

 

Chorus: So I'm breaking down the broken

Shatter the pain we cling to

Every vibration spoken

Just brings it all right back to you

 

Poem by Rashani Rai:

There is a brokennessout of which comes the unbroken,

a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterable.

There is a sorrow beyond all grief

which leads to joy and a fragility

out of whose depths emerges strength.

There is a hollow spacetoo vast for words

through which we pass with each loss,

out of whose darknesswe are sanctioned into being.

There is a cry deeper than all sound

whose serrated edges cut the heart

as we break open to the place inside

which is unbreakable and whole,

while learning to sing.

 

Chorus: So I'm breaking down the broken

Shatter the pain we cling to

Every vibration spoken

Just brings it all right back to you

 

Slipped Through My Fingers

 

   This song has allot of different aspects to it but it is directly related to Slipknot and the passing of Paul Gray. When I was touring with Brian "Head" Welch we played a show at a youth center in Iowa probably 3-4 months after Paul died. On the way to the venue this youth pastor, from the youth centers affiliated church, was telling us about an encounter he had with a young man the week before. He said "I was performing a wedding last weekend and a rather scruffy looking young man approached me and said his good friend had just died of an overdose and he himself was kind of scared of what the darkness inside him might lead him to do to himself" Turns out it was Sid Wilson's sister getting married and He was just reaching out looking to shed some light on the dark place the guys felt they were in. To me it really spoke about not only the pain of loosing a friend but how much we all wallow in darkness and often get in so deep we can't see the light at all anymore. My heart went out to the surviving members and tp Paul, wondering what he must have been going through to wind up in a hotel overdosing.

 

   As I thought about it the lyrics just poured out and then the music, so I feel almost like this song was handed to me in a sense and I hope that it comes across as a tribute to Paul and to the guys in Slipknot but furthermore as a testament to the fact that we all have dark places in our lives and we can always use a hand being pulled back into the light. The lyrics are symbolic yet very literal at the same time. We wear masks to hide our true colors (or true feelings), peel the mask off and you can see the ugliness we try to hide, the scars from scraping away our poor self image to see the true image of ourselves. (Get the mask reference there?). Slipped through my fingers is representative of opportunities or life slipping away from us. Like trying to grab a handful of sand and hold it but it keeps slipping though your fingers. That's kinda how life is when we don't have a firm grip on where we are going, things start to slip away. SO yeah, these are the main themes in this piece and I hope it helps someone out there that's going through a rough time - your not alone! RIP Paul Gray and blessings to you all! - SVH

 

(Lyrics)

If you could peel this mask from my face,

You would see the scars I bare from,

Clawing my skin just to ease this

Pain inside that never goes away

 

Can You - See through these eyes?

Can You - See that

 

I feel like my whole life

Slipped through my fingers

Can't let this moment

Slip through my fingers again

 

Deep within I'm smothering

The outer shell is closing in on me

All it takes is one more step

In one direction to rise up or die

 

Can You - See through these eyes?

Can You - See that

 

I feel like my whole life

Slipped through my fingers

Can't let this moment

Slip through my fingers again

 

again....again...again....again...

 

 

BURN (In the Light of the Sun)

 

   Ok so this to me is the most nu-metal song in our repertoire and rightfully so because I wrote this song while touring with Brian "Head" Welch and it was intended to be (hopefully) recorded as part of his second record. He had a whole album worth of material that we were demoing and this was one of a few that I had tossed in the hat (Breaking the Broken, and Slipped Through My Fingers were also potential BHW solo band tunes) but then that record was shelfed, I eventually exited the band, and they became Love and Death and came out with all new material. Anyhow back to Burn - so this was originally Burn (In the Light of the Son) - ahh see how I did that! Yes this was the first Christian Rock song I had written since probably age 19ish - I have always let God lead me in music but of course got clouded and fuzzy in some eras due to my own egoic ideology about being a big rock dude or whatever but I shed the Christian label on music because I believe music, all music, comes from the source of all, the one, God. Some choose to channel it one direction, some another, but for me labeling it as Christian or Secular or whatever just segregates your listeners and gets the finger pointing happening and all that so no Kurai is not Christian rock (I get asked that allot) but my own experiences with Christ are really the concept of this song (and furthermore my connection to the source is really the basis for everything I write).

 

   Have you ever felt like you just need to unplug from life for a bit? Not like be a hermit, or go off to die in a cave somewhere, but just de-fragment for a bit and recharge. That's where I was when I wrote this, burnt from travel, broke from being a broke musician, and struggling with some heavy emotions on how to balance what I love and my real world obligations. I was confronting my shadow allot and the interesting thing about our shadow self is that we can be affected or not based on our viewpoint. When you stand with your back to the sun (or light) you see your shadow before you, but when you face the light (or Sun) your shadow falls behind you. This is the true message of Christ really, look to the SON and allow the light of his guidance to illuminate your path and cast your shadow behind you. This song is really just that, a reflective look at my own perspective on that need to recharge and looking to the light of the divine for that recharge instead of unplugging and becoming more detached. There are many metaphorical things in this song in reference to divine light and divine guidance (all concepts I am wide open to discuss here for those interested in getting all spiritual and stuff), the title alone references being burned in the fires of loves flame, illuminated by light, warmed by the light, ashes to ashes we all fall down, etc etc! Blessings,SVH

 

(Lyrics)

When I'm drowning in my sorrow

When I'm smothered by my pain

I want to unplug myself from this life for awhile

But I'll try to lift my head up

I'll try to hold it high

I'll try and heal the pain from all the tears I've cried

 

Chorus: All the fears in me will

BURN IN THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

All the tears I've seen will

BURN IN THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

 

When I'm lost and can't find my way

When I'm cold and all alone

The silent voice deep within me calls me back home

And I renounce all my anger

I release all my rage

I vow to lift my voice and break free from this cage

 

Chorus: All the fears in me will

BURN IN THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

All the tears I've seen will

BURN IN THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

 

Bridge: Burn this fire deep within me

Burn this flame eternally

Burn this fire deep within me

Burn this flame eternally

 

2nd voice: Burning deep within Me

Burning deep within Me

 

Chorus: All the fear in me will

BURN IN THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

All the tears I've seen will

BURN IN THE LIGHT OF THE SUN